I have found my special purpose!!!!

....and it is quite disappointing My life is very Steve Martin as 'The Jerk'. So not very Harry Potter-esque or Sword in the Stone type stuff.

So...less than an hour ago....I resolved to begin writing in this blog again. I took a shower and contemplated about what I had written before....and what I may write about in the future. I had a chuckle about my possum and dead mouse tales.....when....I saw.....despite my very poor eyesight.... but utilizing my "keen critter invasion spidey sense"......I saw a

REPTILE THING IN THE SHOWER DRAIN.

I would love to be able to identify this for you. The best I can do to describe it is:

1. It is reptilian.

nuff said.

2. It pink and naked.

and no it isn't what you think.

3. I could see it's reptilian bones thru it's pink/naked/wet reptilian skin.

I feel sure they were attached to reptilian claws.

4. It likely wanted to eat me.

But it had to catch my pink/naked/wet @$$ jetting it out of the shower, FIRST.

5. It lays in wait in the drain.

I did try to wash it down with lots of water. It has a death grip on the drain....likely until it

can get a death grip on my throat.

Ok....so you need a better description. Ok. It is about 3 inches long....and it is either a lizard, gecko, or a newt. Only more vicious in appearance and likely it is much more deadly in form.

So.....what does this have to do with my special purpose? I fear....and I hope it is not true. That I was put on this Earth to chronicle the wild beasts of Texas. What other reason could I have been brought to Texas? Why else was I plagued with writer's block for so long?

So I could write and experience...(in my world the word experience is dripping in slime and goo)....the things that may kill me stupidly in Texas.

I used to be befuddled in Virginia Beach, when people would do crazy things like go surfing at prime shark snack time at 4pm. I thought....THEY ARE CRAZY! But now I know the truth.... they just....did...not...know......what laid in wait. Like me. In Texas.....sticking my hand in woodpiles....waiting for the the next rattlesnake to bite.

I wanted to be published....so badly. But be careful what you wish for.....I did not want my biggest accomplishment to be....

WOMAN EATEN IN TEXAS BY REPTILIAN SHOWER BEAST.

She should have known....story at 11.

or

UNSUSPECTING TEXAS TRANSPLANT LEAVES BEDROOM WINDOW. IS MAULED BY OPOSSUMSAURUS.

What was she thinking......story after the Spurs game.

You see where I am going with this? Some days I feel like my life is one big Reality series that no one watches. Only I am doing the gags and prompts without the set up.

SO. Is my special purpose to become a famous published writer? No. It is to blog unappreciatedly about Texas Wildlife.

Did I mention the new, less impressive yellow pages are here? (small, hippity hop)